GenQ - For the not so straight individual

For many people in the GBLT community, there are clashes in our belief systems that we have been conditioned with since birth. When we come out, sometimes these beliefs are resolved either by adapting to changes or a new point of view, even dismissing the conditioning completely. With some of us, these belief systems involve religion. We are brought up believing that it is a sin to be attracted to our same sex, and this often leads to depression, trying to live a lie, and, in some tragic cases, suicide.

Recently, I was pointed towards an amazing book called "A Life Of Unlearning" by author Anthony Venn-Brown, who has led a very interesting life so far. This autobiography is a real eye-opener, not only for those of us stuggling to reconcile our beliefs with our sexuality, but those who know someone in a similar situation.

I recently caught up with Anthony for a chat about the book, and got some very valid advice from this amazing man.

How's your day been so far?

Yeah, my day's been good, I usually use Monday catching up on Admin stuff, and reading ...

What are you reading at the moment?

I'm reading terrible books ... I'm reading the opposition's books on homosexuality. I'm reading a terrible a book called "The Gay Agenda" ... oh my god, it's sensationalist, it's fear mongering. This guy says "we have to reach out to these homosexuals" you know, and by the time you finish it, you wouldn't want anything to do with "us", because we're a deceitful bunch of people with another agenda who destroy society. It's terrible, but I've got to be informed and aware.

Fair enough, I guess you have to know the enemy to fight the enemy. Moving on though, a lot of our readers would be interested to know some of your background info ...

I guess my main claim to fame is that I was a high-profile preacher in the mega-churches of Australia, ordained with the Assemblies Of God. The mega-churches are the churches that attract thousands of people, like Hillsong, and Paradise in Adelaide, they're everywhere now. I was one of the more popular preachers in Australia. I had attempted to change my sexual orientation originally through ex-gay programs, exorcisms, 40-day fasts, those sorts of things, drastic measures to try to change. Then I got married at the age of 23 thinking this is going to be the final thing, this would sort it all out, had two lovely children, and it all came undone at the age of 40 when I fell in love with a man ...

I guess it's true what they say then: life begins at 40.

Yeah ... well it's not unusual for people in similar circumstances to come out in their late 30's, early 40's, because it's that time in your life where you have to sort out your unresolved conflicts.

You mention in your new book, A Life Of Unlearning, which is the 2^nd edition, about the book launch of the first edition, so how did the new book launch go?

It was just amazing. We had 300 people upstairs at the Midnight Shift nightclub, and I chose 3 readers who had had very unique changes in their lives. One was a young man called Ryan who was 19, who had to leave home because he was gay, but through my book, he's back at home now, his boyfriend is allowed to come around for meals with the family and everything, and it's had a major impact on him and his parents. Another was a man who was 50 years of age who came out publicly for the first time. I actually knew him from ministry, and this guy was also a minister, and he'd had mental health issues, physical issues, all these things that happened to him, but when he came out, he finally resolved his issues and his health problems disappeared overnight, like that. And the other was a young girl from a Pentecostal Bible College, a heterosexual who had just done a complete turnaround herself in terms of homosexuality ... there was not a dry eye in the place.

So your book seems to be making some pretty big changes in peoples lives, in terms of how they think about things ...

Yes, and the emails have just been constant, Leigh. I guess that's what fuels me today, that the emails from readers usually begin with something like "oh my god, it's 6am, I just finished reading your book, I couldn't put it down. Thank you for your honesty and ..." bleh ... just spilling their own story. Sometimes it might just be a couple of paragraphs, sometimes it's a 10 page handwritten letter, and they pour their heart out about their own personal journey and struggle. Then, of course, there's people who were about to take their own lives who read the book at that time and done a complete turnaround.

Wow. That must be the ultimate compliment, to know your words stopped someone from taking their own life...

Yes, it's incredibly rewarding Leigh. I really just had this strong sense of mission, you know, I really felt very impressed to tell my own story. That was the only reason I actually did it, I've never considered myself a writer or wanted to be an author, but I just had this strong sense of "I really have to do this, because this story is really going to help a lot of people" and, of course, now we see that's what's happening.

You also started an organization called Freedom2b[e]. Tell us about that.

It's actually for gay and lesbian people from Pentecostal and Charismatic backgrounds. We're not like some of the other gay Christian groups, because we don't say we're a Christian group. We're actually a space for people who come from that background ... I know from my own situation that, if you come from that particular church background, you have this huge dissonance that you have to resolve, and sometimes for people who come from that background, it's very hard to find someone to talk to about it. In fact, you probably don't want to talk about it, but you've still got this subconscious thing that might be going on in your mind that you're going to go to Hell, and that you're a failure and God's deserted you. So it's actually a space for people of that background to connect with other people with the same experience, so we don't have an agenda like "you've got to believe this" or "you have to reject that", or "you should go back to church" or "you should leave church". Just having that space with no agenda seems to make people connect and just be healed. Some have renewed faith, others have redefined their belief system, some have continued on as non-believers, and that's cool too, cos it's all about what's right for YOU. It's your journey. We've also had some pretty amazing things happen. There was one guy who came in and the first time, he gave a false name because he was so scared of being discovered because he was a teacher at a Christian school, but in 6 months, he'd resolved that issue and realized he could no longer live in or work in that environment, so he resigned from the school and came out to the entire staff at his farewell. So courageous. And, because he did that the right way, and not in an angry way, about 80% of the people responded positively and opened up a great dialogue that previously would never have existed.

That's one thing I've noticed: people who have a bad opinion of homosexuality usually don't know anyone as gay, and when they do, they change their viewpoint.

Exactly, exactly. Actually, the working title of my next book is "The Enemy Is Ignorance", so we're not necessarily fighting political parties or churches or denominations or individuals. The true battle we fight is with ignorance, and part of that is up to us to educate and inform, and we need to do that in a way that treats the other party with respect, which is what we want. I see myself as an ambassador, not an activist. With Freedom2B[e], we've got an online community, and our aim this year is to get branches in all the major capital cities.

Apart from anything that's been said in your book, do you have any advice for any of our readers who are struggling to reconcile their sexuality with their faith?

Don't be afraid to talk to people. There are people now that you can connect with who have been on this journey, like myself and others. It will take you time to look at the conditionings you've had and get a new understanding. The main thing is that the Christian conservative perspective is based on ... just fix 4 passages in the entire Bible, and when they're looked at in their original, historical, and cultural contexts, and even the original language, they DO NOT SAY what it is assumed that they are saying about homosexuality, they are talking about abusive relationships, sex related to idolatry, not same-sex love as we know it today. The word "homosexual" wasn't created until 1889 or 1890 I think, and the word never appeared in the Bible until 1946.

I read in another book a while ago that, when it talks about same-sex relations being against nature, it's not talking about nature as a whole, it's talking about that person's individual nature, because everyone was thought to be straight back then ...

Yeah, and I mean, it's natural for me to be homosexual, it's unnatural for me to be heterosexual ... I tried it for 22 years!!! I don't know how I survived that long!!!

So what's coming up next for you? You've got the new book, and the Fredom2B[e] expansion ... will it still be another few years before the book comes out?

I think so. It seems to be what I'm focusing my entire attention on, and looking for possible funding, or beneficiaries, or someone that really believes in what I'm doing that can help support me so I can just devote my entire time to doing that. I feel, in a way that I'm chosen ... I don't want to be too precious about that, but I feel I have a pretty unique background in that I understand the culture of the Christian community, I can speak the language, the leaders that are currently in the Assemblies Of God were all my closest friends, and my approach is also not one that is militant or aggressive, it's like "guys, can we sit down and talk about this?" I mean, the best teacher is experience, and ... I mean, if there's anyone in Australia who's tried desperately to change their sexual orientation, it's me. I was so committed to that, my whole life revolved around that.

That's true. Well, on a final note, other than what's already been said, do you have anything you want to say to any of our readers?

Only that I've completely optimistic that change will happen. No doubt in my mind that Pentecostal churches will change their position on homosexuality. Having been in the Pentecostal movement for 20 years, I saw such radical changes in areas such as divorce and remarriage, female preachers in the church, attitudes towards contemporary Christian music, even down to make-up and going to the movies, and drinking alcohol ... in the space of those 20 years, all those things that were taboo on a scriptural basis have now changed. So I have complete belief that, if it's handled the right way, change will happen. We have to help with this though.

For more information about Anthony Venn-Brown, click here

To find out more about Freedom2B[e], visit the website or send an email

To visit the Freedom2B[e] online community, click here

To download the first chapter of "A Life Of Unlearning", click here