GenQ - For the not so straight individual

When do you know that the other person in your life is feeling the same way back. Its guessing 101, and I really feel if they are going to provide university courses for mothers in how to care for their children, there should be a graduate degree in being able to determine where you stand when it comes to someone you like.

 You can feel that lonely branch you lean out on to say those words, bowing under the increasing weight of those feelings. The LOVE word, (there I said it), if blurted like that at the incorrect moment in time, could cause that branch to snap sending you rapidly spiraling down the rabbit hole. So we hold off. It may be too early to say those words any way. But you know you like the person none the less.

 You go on some wonderful dates. You meet his friends. You share his bed (a few times over). You send sweet sms texts trailed with lots of little naughts and crosses. You both share sweet words and sweet moments and connect on such a beautiful level. You both feel a level of comfort that inhibits the need to reach for the bed sheet to cover yourself as the golden morning light peers through the cracks in the blinds.

 So when is a good time to ask if they are seeing anyone else, and on the same note when is it a good time for you to start showing monogamy to that person. Does one feel more guilty if it is found out the other is spending intimate moments with others, whilst they have been happy with only being with one? And so does continuing to spend moments with others whom you feel less connected to, even though you know you have someone in your eyes, possibly be such a bad thing if no agreement has been made to be exclusive to each other?

 I guess that's where you need to bite the bullet. (Though lets make sure your dental is up to date) and decide if YOUR ready. After all it may be totally up to you really if the other one doesn't want to come to the party. If you feel the person is worth putting everything else on hold while you pursue whatever possible outcome may eventuate from your love affair, then close your little black book and leave it on the bedside table, or in the drawer if your afraid of any deep dark secrets about your sexual history coming to the surface like a deep sea monster which may engulf that lovely little love boat you have been cruising on. You may not feel like putting it too far from reach just yet. The opposite bank of that creek you just decided to jump over may turn out to be farther from reach than you thought, and you could very well fall into the proverbial drink, wanting to reach back quickly for that little black book like a life line tied to the branch of a tree on the bank you just leaped from. Though sometimes we all tend to get a little wet when taking that leap, and sometimes it is possible not to be frightened off by this minor upset, and still make it to the other side, though a little cold and wet from your ordeal, happy none the less to appreciate the joy of standing on the other bank looking back and thinking, "there, it wasn't that bad after all".

 Liking someone, and making that transition to commitment and or love, can be a very harrowing experience of mixed emotions, turmoil, and more. You never really know if you are going to make it, or what that life on the other bank will really turn out like. But enough of my creek analogies, like riding a bike, its full of pain, clumsiness and joy. And if you happen to fall off, you may just need to get up and try again. Maybe he is just worth it, and maybe you deserve it.