GenQ - For the not so straight individual

Although it may be today’s technology and we should take advantage of it, I beg to tell you it still remains a deceiving place. Call me old fashioned or a plain bore. But when it comes to any form of dating I would much prefer doing it the old way, by meeting people through people.

This is not about current relationships, this read is all about what ‘could be’ one day. That is if you want to gain some form of relationship off the net and need a push into understanding how to do it the right and safest way. This is where you need to sit down and think what exactly you want to gain from going into chat rooms or personals sites. Believe me there are a number of cooky and fantastic sites out there in cyberspace. You would be surprised. Are you looking for a sexual/lustual relationship? Are you looking for friends and friends only? How about that Mr. or Mrs. right that you have been dreaming off since you were a kid? So many options here. One thing about the net. No one is a mind reader. So you REALLY need to specify what it is you want. Offcourse, you would specify this in any profile or bio lines before you go entering chat.

Well provided you have already chosen a chat or personals site you wish to use, you will be asked to fill out all the nitty gritty information. Such as Name, Age, Interests and a whole lot more.

Once you have signed up and got yourself a username, you should then be asked to create a profile, which will not only allow people to learn about yourself, but also create matches on what type of fling it is you are after. Some questions on profile’s can be personal and some people choose not to answer. If your intuition is telling you not to answer a certain question, then don’t. Just paint the basics, and be honest. When it comes to describing how you look, and if you are hung up on your looks – then you need to come to an inner peace with yourself, because lying over the net can be seen as a serious offence, and in most cases will cause complications. Besides in the universe of all the. Com’s understand that people who look at who YOU are could be on the wavelength scenario’s of “I base my friendships and so on, on personalities not look’s� – there are so many other ways people can think. And at the end of the day when creating a profile and others get to take a squiz you will learn to discover someone will always be out there that will accept you. Don’t be shy stating who you are, and what ever – don’t feel ashamed.

Some profile sites will give you the option of uploading a picture to your profile. I have spoken to a number of people who choose not to, because again they are hung up on their looks or they yet haven’t reached that technology in getting a scanner or digital camera. I, personally have had pictures on my profiles from day number one, so it gives people a close idea into how I look. People who want to meet up for sex, will usually post pictures of their privates (and in most cases will withhold any pic’s of their faces until contact has been made) People who are wanting friends, will mostly keep the rudie bits out, and show the happy and bubbly sides of them with humorous captions underneath their pic’s. Are we getting some form of understanding here?

Putting a picture of yourself on the net can say so many things. It’s selecting the pic you need to be careful of. Some people look into pictures and anylise them. The way your posing, your facial expression, your eyes – the list goes on. The reason why people do this is because they wanna get an idea of who you are, and how you would act in face contact whether its your facial expressions, your posture and or drive for life. I am forever uploading new pic’s, because I am forever changing. And I never want someone getting the wrong idea of me, and when meeting having them either let down because they expected better (because they saw a pic of me from a couple of years ago)

So if you do decided to upload your picture, make sure it is reasonably recent and shows people what your personality is like and what you are looking for. For example if you are looking for friends, upload a picture of you with big smiles, in a relatively nice surrounding. For my fave crowd, the goth’s, I know that some people in this very wide community don’t like to smile as it wear’s the botox off. So, prepare yourself, and make yourself look all gorgeous (because a lot of goth’s are naturally) and take a pic of yourself (maybe with some friends) in what you would call a nice place. I have seen some of the best profiles by a goth person. And personally, they tend to have some of the best and brightest personalities.

So now we have the whole pic thing out of the way, we then move on to writing in the blanks of telling people about yourself and what it is you are looking for.

Well, isn’t this a great exercise to do? I personally wouldn’t write anything about myself unless I was in a fantabulastic mood so then its not riddled with depressive bits of info, which may put people off. I also would wanna come across deceiving by only writing in the bright and happy things about my life, as it ain’t always perfect and if one day I was to meet someone off the net I would hope they didn’t expect to see me and my life from the “peachy keen� angle. Lets look at an example:

I’m a very friendly, and cuddly person who loves to have a great time, whether its going out to the clubs or staying home and having a girlie watch in with some movies and the endless supply of pop corn. My friends would consider me the councilor of their lives, as I am a great listener and always have a hell of a lot of advice to dish out to. Im not one for changing people, more on the lines of always willing to offer a helping hand…�

So what did you make of that for a “about yourself� entry? I just made that up on the spare of the moment, and yep I feel it covered all grounds. It implies I love to have a great time, I may be somewhat between the status of introvert and extrovert and I look after my friends with a passion, just not over the top passionate. It is strongly advised that you don’t write on in anything personal about yourself, such as your address or phone numbers or recent to past experiences, as there are people called “whacko’s� out their who feed of people’s lives and may report back to the wrong person, if not is the perfect recipe for harassment. Having someone either send you a message or start chatting to you about your personal issues who you don’t know and swore you have never met can be very intimidating.

When entering a chat room or posting your profile on the web you should always lay some form of boundaries down.

Part two of this article will be available on GenerationQ from 5 July 2007.