GenQ - For the not so straight individual

As a gay male, people are going to perceive me to have a biased opinion on the matter. However I have grown up in a 'normal' family environment. My parents married when they were young and remain together as happy and as in love as they ever were. They had five children, and even though there was a TV in nearly every room, we all get along great... omitting the few quarrels that aroused as we grew up (kids will be kids). I have seen what it is like to have a functional and very happy family. However that is not the winning lotto numbers for me.

We had our issues when I first came out to my family, and I think that even to this day, there are some harbored issues under the surface. No Lochness Monster, but maybe a few wee tadpoles. They however, at least I hope, love me just as much as they ever did. They, like many others in the community, though they hear it, don't fully understand what it is I am telling them. It's like attempting to describe your favorite holiday destination. No matter how descriptive you are in telling someone about it, even if you show them photos of you laid out drinking pinacoladas whilst soaking up the last few rays as the soft sun as it drifts below the horizon, you will never really understand how it feels until you actually go there and experience it for yourself. Of course, not everyone will get the same feeling from the same destination, but that's ok. You don't judge them for liking somewhere that you do not. The same could be said when choosing a car. Different strokes for different folks, right?

Well, it is if you're talking about holidays or cars. However come to same sex marriages, and it's another story. What will it mean for future generations? Through legislation or otherwise, homosexual relationships are going to exist. They have since the dawn of time. It has been suggested that sexual activities amongst men thousands of years ago were quite prominent. Some even propose the purpose of females at this time was merely to carry their offspring. I am not being sexist in any way, just sharing opinions that have been established.

So, why does John Howard so wish to quell any notion of introducing same sex marriage laws in this country? I praise the British government on their forward thinking. As a gay male I wonder where a legislation permitting same sex marriages would take us. See, for some time I myself was against gay "marriage" purely for the fact that I didn't ever feel that I wanted to institutionalize my love for someone. I didn't need a piece of paper stating my love and commitment for someone, and believed my word was enough promise to a life of monogamy, trust, respect, and love. That was until just recently when a friend of mine, Steve, asked me how much of an effect I thought it would have on gay members of the community if such legislation were passed. It was then I had a moment of new perspective. I had once wanted to be seen as different from heterosexual partners. I wanted them to have their marriages. I mean after all, being as creative as we are, I thought we could have come up with a new name that could describe the bonding of two souls together. However that in itself breeds inequity, and whilst there is inequity there will be misunderstandings and tensions between peoples. We saw this in the recent racial tensions in Sydney.

Marriage would not only form a legal binding for same-sex couples, but also be a symbol of the eternal love you have your partner. With this symbol of love, it is palpable, a record to all of your commitment, therefore strengthening the binds you have to each other. This is what I believe to be the main reason our government does not wish to adopt these policies; what would they possibly achieve by strengthening the commitment same sex partners have to each other, when it is an "imperfection" in their society?

What I find contradictory, whether the Prime Minister allows the term marriage to be used or not, is that state and federal laws recognize same-sex couples. It is written into their anti-discrimination laws on both state and federal levels. There are even provisions for same sex partners in relation to holidays, sick leave, and travel benefits recognized by the courts of NSW and the federal courts. I can't help but think it is like showing a child the cookie jar and at the same time saying they are not allowed to have any cookies from it. It is recognition with no recognition. Sound contradictory? It is.

But what people must come to terms with, is that times will soon change. Older ministers will be succeeded by younger generations who have grown up with openly gay friends, and this culture will change the hand of government. The next ten years will be pivotal for the gay population. We are kind of like the GST, only sweeter. Not everyone is agreeable to it, but it's not going anywhere. Neither are we. We are lawyers, taxi drivers, servo men, mechanics, computer technicians, plumbers, police officers. We are brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, fathers, mothers, uncles and aunties. We feel, and hurt and love the same as any other. All we ask is to be treated like any other. And a note to John Howard. We vote too.