GenQ - For the not so straight individual

Me? I have about three. That's not counting friends I've made elsewhere that happen to also have a profile. Over three years, I've spoken to a lot of people on these sites, and only three people have turned out to be people I end up watching movies with on a Sunday night, or going out for coffee and talking about their latest heartache or whatever. That averages out to one person a year.

So why do I try? Or better yet, should I even bother? Should anyone?

I'm a bit torn, to be honest. The three friends I have made are legends. Honest, caring, fun individuals who said initially that they weren't looking for anything more than friendship and actually held themselves to that. How many people have messaged me with the wish to just be friends? Plenty! How many have broken into questions about my penis size and preference in bed after about two minutes of conversation on MSN? Most. Boo.

Is this happening because of the nature of the gay community in general, or because I'm looking on a place like Gaydar? At least QP Personals calls itself that??personals,? as in a personal ad, as something one places in a paper or online when looking for love (or a quick root). Am I expecting too much from a place from a website with a motto like ?What you want, when you want it!? or is this just another one of those things about our cross-section of society that I have to accept?

I refuse to believe that. Here's why.

Recently, I met a friend of a friend at a Hanson concert, who later on I found out was gay. He didn't make it a big deal, as I don't. We didn't meet each other and go run into a toilet block. Funnily enough, he made it into my bed quicker than anyone messaging me for sex on Gaydar did ? of course, it was because we both were drunk and slept on the same mattress with a doona each.

Or take the example of another good friend, who I met on Gaydar but who has never talked to me once about anything to do with us hoppin? in the sack together. We recently took a trip up to Shepparton so we could visit his family and his friends, and so I could see what the big deal was about lil? Shepp. Again, after drinking too much, we've shared a bed as well'but in the same ?hands to yourself? way.

Both of these good were perfect gentlemen. I never doubted them for a second. And it's not like we were all desperately trying to reject the pleasures of the flesh, either. We were'are'friends, and the thought never crossed our minds. How platonic'and refreshing!

So it's not that every single gay guy is all about gratifying his penis. It's the websites.

The horrible bit about this whole story is that about two months ago I felt like a prude for having the mentality that I do about sex. I thought I was missing out, or that I wasn't making use of my youth, or whatever the hell else some people say to me when I (less politely as time goes by, mind you) reject them. Personals websites like the Gaydar reinforce that. Why should I feel bad about respecting myself enough to not be someone's casual trick?

I've turned over a new leaf: On messenger programs, I'm watching the time I spend on there, especially chatting to those people who can't take no for what it is. I leave my Gaydar on now to get referrals to my website. My traffic increases by about three times when I have it on, so it's worth it. Maybe a couple people will read some stuff there (and here) and maybe figure out what I have for themselves.