GenQ - For the not so straight individual

Hands up if you want that old school romance? Long talks, walks in the park, slow dancing in the pouring rain, you know all that stuff? *Raises hands frantically like an agitated school girl* Well, do not despair, romance isn't dead; it was simply on an extended vacation. You see, just like everyone else, I have the perfect guy envisioned in my head, how he would walk, how he would talk and how he would act, but its really not a practical vision at all, most people cant even commit to a lease, how are they meant to commit to a relationship? But we try all the same.

However this is somewhat of a hypocritical topic for me, as I have met someone special, and even though it's still fairly new, I know that this is going to be something huge. We've kissed, we've cuddled and we have slept together but not 'slept' together and it feels fantastic. However, I do feel a little apprehensive, because I do not want to end up one of those couples that stay home on a Saturday night. I shall be honest, I like going out and I like to have a dance and hang out with friends and, to be more frank, sitting at home, watching dvd's and consuming an excessive amount of Tim Tam's doesn't really make me feel happy. In fact, it makes me grab my hips and thighs and shudder. But then again, as long as I would be with him, I know I would be happy. What to do, what to do?

I haven't seen my boy in a couple of days and I'm longing for his touch, to hear his voice, but in a way, feeling him and hearing him aren't very assuring at all cause I am unsure of what he wants. What does he want? He says one thing, and does another. It's so confusing, and I don't know if I can handle a guy who does the ever-so-romantic 'withholding cha cha', where you don't know the steps, therefore you're lead around and around till the other person is ready to stop. I don't know if these are intentions but it's just how it feels and it's quite aggravating. He wasn't exactly romantic, but I know that he could be because of the way he treats me. He even confessed to me about holding back the romantic token things he usually does, because he doesn't want to be hurt like so many before have done to him, which I totally understand. But how long am I meant to understand for?

We have all been hurt, whether it's been love or lust. We have all been hurt, and will be hurt many more times before we die, but the million dollar question is, ?how the hell do we live happily ever after? Is there such a thing?? Maybe there is ? I hope to God there is. Now all I've got to do is believe in God and I will be set.