GenQ - For the not so straight individual

 Or: Further contemplation on the stigma of age and gender.

Or:

Recent feedback regarding my article entitled - ‘The Boundaries & Obstacles of Dating’ highlighted some issues which hadn’t been explored to their full extent. Namely, on the topic of gold-digging and the perception of Adelaide ’s queer scene as being promiscuous, superficial and giving fellow queers a bad name.

Firstly, to clarify the definition of the term ‘gold digging’ – gold digging is trend which has been popularized by Anna Nicole Smith. It entails marrying (or seeing) someone, who is significantly older than yourself, solely for their money. Especially when they are close to death, so they can redeem their inheritance.

“I would like to marry a man who would leave me half his money and guarantee to be dead within 6 months.�

- Betty Davis.

 

 Apparently some people took her sentiments a little too seriously.

Previously I’ve discussed how a connection between two people is more important than the number of years which differentiate their ages. Since then, not only the subject of gold digging, but also that of the rarified occurrences of finding another, who is significantly older (or younger) than yourself with whom you have a strong (and genuine) connection, were brought to my attention.

It has a lot to do with self values with regard who you take as a lover with respect to their age, particularly the difference therein. Also I would suggest considering your motive, is it for love, or simply for money? I cannot tell you how to guide your moral compass, but I can tell you that it is your personal choice however you choose, just make it for the right reasons.

As for Adelaide ’s queer scene, of which I used to be an active participant, I cannot justify or validate the assumptions and observations alleged about the activities and behaviour taking place at the now closed Edinburgh Castle Hotel. Which, in its heyday, was a respectable venue for queer and queer-friendly patrons alike.

The Edinburgh Castle Hotel has been a mainstays of nightlife for Adelaide ’s gay, lesbian, bisexual and queer-friendly patrons for quite sometime. It is a viable alternative to the Mars Bar for those looking for a quiet drink with perhaps a game of pool for good measure. It offered meals, a relaxed atmosphere, and friendly bar staff. Along with strippers (on a Wednesday nights) and two in-house drag queens (the Tosca-toting Oktavia and the divalicious Malt Biscuit) who offered their respective, and differing, shows Fridays and Saturdays to adoring audiences, to spice things up. It offered a variety of things for a variety of people, and on the whole, the patrons were respectful and just enjoyed themselves. Nothing about their behaviour would indicate that they were promiscuous or giving the scene a bad name. You need only look to the Mars Bar for evidence of shenanigans, with raunchy shows and gay males hooking up in the ladies restroom, it is the basement club that you go to solely to get drunk, dance the night away, and hopefully go hope with a hot hunk (or babe) at the end of the night. Suffice to say, the Mars Bar is geared more toward the gay male populace of the queer scene, more so than The Ed and The Hampshire which both are welcoming to lesbian patrons.

Sure, the queer scene (and community) of Adelaide is facing its demise, but we won’t go down without a fight. The Annual Feast Festival provides a serious outlet for those who aren't interested in more than drinking themselves silly, dancing topless and speed-dating Adelaide ’s queer populace. With a host of artistic and cultural events offered each year, Feast does it’s best to ensure that the community are satisfied that they are being represented in a colourful and realistic way.  

In conclusion, the years of difference between you and are your prospective partner aren’t as important the connection between you two, and the motive for the connection. Homosexuality may attract bad press, but no press is a fate worse still, and while the scene may come across as sleazy and promiscuous, one must remember that there is a reason there is a difference between the community and the scene. In the scene you may be out and proud in an extravagant way, but in the community it is more relaxed and about the intricacies of the serious relationships of those within it, and important causes like support for those living with HIV and AIDS. As with everything, don’t take something on its outward value, for it is what is on the inside that counts.