GenQ - For the not so straight individual

I had lunch yesterday with my Italian friend Matt. He had left Italy after ending a bad relationship about six months ago. Matt was 30 and a very sweet and honest European guy. He really put his feelings out there and I think he was having issues adjusting to Sydney's gay culture.

After being optimistic about love, relationships, and romance'Matt had a rough case of real Sydney gay dating. It had turned him from a romantic Italian into a cynical Sydney queen in less than six months.

Matt had learned the hard way that gay men will say anything to get into your pants and that they won't call you when they say they will. He had met a few guys and the scenario was always the same: he would shower them with love and emotion, be very honest with them and the guys would then shag him and never call him back.

He was venting his frustration over lunch. He was excited about the fact that he was leaving for Europe. He told me he at least knew how to deal with European men. I realised then that no one ever told him how to play by Sydney rules.

His last heartbreak occurred over the weekend when he went out with Neil a guy he had met out a few times. They had gone clubbing and Matt had been very open about his previous heartbreaks with Neil.

Neil had been a good listener, said the right words and had comforted Matt. In reality, Neil just wanted to shag Matt. Learning from his mistakes, Matt was determined to just cuddle and have no action below the equator. The next morning, Matt woke up feeling loved. Neil said he would call. He did a few days later to see if he had left his credit card at Matt's place. He never called again.

I did not have the heart to tell Matt that this was the real dating world in Sydney. It is not a jungle out there ?it is a war! You can never believe what a guy says. But I could not bring myself to burst his romantic Italian bubble. He was already way too cynical for someone who had just moved here six months ago. It took me two years and a few hundred dates to get that cynical.

Sydney is the city where love only lasts a maximum of 24 hours (depending on the number of pills you have taken), where no one wants to have affairs to remember, where everyone has a an open relationship and where being single is not a lifestyle but a handicap.

I told him a lie we all singles tell ourselves when the guy never calls back. ?When you least expect it, you'll meet the right guy for you,? I said. So much for honest gay men!