GenQ - For the not so straight individual

In the never-ending rat race that is the dating world (where you are trying to get ahead at any cost and your main goal is either to find someone to have a meaningful relationship with or to have an active sex life), you can come up against all sorts of boundaries and obstacles. The main ones I have found, being age, race and gender. Our world is one where equal opportunity applies to those seeking employment so why should a separate set of rules apply for dating?

Everywhere people are being ridiculed, discriminated against or rejected solely because of their choices in life. Take, for example, age – how old is too old? How many years difference are too many? Who determines this and why is it so important?

Call me a libertine or a free-thinker, but I believe that the emphasis should not be on how many years of difference there are between you and your potential lover, but rather it should be on the connection between the those two people. This is an important factor in any relationship, and shouldn’t be discounted solely because of one’s age.

Some people may choose to take lovers who are older than them because they may find that those who are their own age aren’t quite as mature as they may have hoped. Or maybe they are just looking for someone with a bit of experience when it comes to romance and who can show them a good time. Maybe they simply want to find someone who is ready to settle down. When you are sick of racing around the block, you may want to just take time out to enjoy the scenery.

When it comes to gender, I believe that a lot of it is because those who are against same sex relationship simply have a fear of the unknown. The concept is foreign to them; therefore they are unsure how to react in situations where they are confronted with same sex orientated individuals. Maybe it is a cultural thing, I am sure that is other countries it is a perfectly acceptable thing to be homosexual. It’s not so bad in Australia, I guess it just depends who you are and how open minded you are prepared to be. I think upbringing has a lot to do with it, if individuals are conditioned in such a way where all they know is heterosexuality they may become fearful or even cautious of anything which challenges what they know to be the mainstay of their beliefs. This may give way to curiosity, or simply homophobia.



Taken by its literal meaning, homophobia means fear of the same. With such an ambiguous definition it could apply to anything – but is mostly associated with the hatred or disapproval of homosexual individuals and their sexual acts.

I believe that conditions are improving for gay and lesbian individuals, although there is still a grey area with being bisexual. Some believe it is simply a stop-over on the way to “Gaysville� while others are prepared to accept that some individuals have genuine feelings for both genders and are hard-pressed to choose between them. If that is what you perceive as being true to yourself, by allowing the possibility of a relationship (or sexual relations) with both genders, then why not! It is our choices, and our choices alone, which guide the paths of our lives.

Another obstacle I have come across in the dating world is that of inter-racial relationships. I recall a particular episode of ‘Sex and the City’ where Samantha starts seeing an African American man, and his sister has a problem with it because Samantha is white, and she has a problem with White Women. Racism works both ways. Personally, I don’t see the problem in dating someone of another race; again, it is the connection between the two people which should be the focal point of the relationship.



In conclusion, I believe that equal opportunities should apply to all persons of all races, genders and sexual orientations because life is too short to bear a grudge, and if it isn’t affecting you, why should it concern you? It is by choice that we allow ourselves to be in relationships with other individuals regardless of what society may think. If only more people would recognize the fact that we are all people regardless of skin colour, sexual preference or genitalia.