GenQ - For the not so straight individual

They say that “you don’t know what you’ve got ‘till it’s gone�, but I wonder, if you appreciate what you have before you lose it, does it hurt more, or does it end up hurting you less?

I am currently experiencing a situation where I have been without my girlfriend for over two weeks now. She’s been in Perth visiting her family, and I’ve been stuck here in Melbourne house-sitting and getting on with life. Previous to the past two weeks, the longest we had been apart in our 18 months together, was 6 days, and that almost killed me! So, naturally, the past two weeks have been tough, especially seeing as I have been living in her house and seeing reminders of her all the time. It makes me wonder though, would it have hurt more to have not known how much she meant to me and to have been without her for two weeks, or does the fact that I am in love with her and know she means the world to me, mean that I hurt more?

Maybe the cliché should be changed to, ‘You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone, but if you love something and it leaves you, it can hurt even more..’

I guess in a similar sense to my article ‘The rose coloured glasses of love’, it’s beneficial to know, admit and understand your feelings, not just about others but about most important things in your life, because at least then you know where you stand, and are better prepared for whatever is to come. Yes, it hurts very much when I crave or need my girlfriend and she can’t be with me, but I know that I love her, I knew I was gonna miss her, and I also know she’s coming back to me. If for instance, I hadn’t admitted my feelings for someone and then they went away, not only would I hurt and miss them, but I would also have the added pain of not knowing whether they were coming back or not, and even if they did, possibly not being able to do anything about my feelings.

Which brings me back to the issue, which scenario is more painful? When there are feelings involved before the loss, the longing for that person/object/situation may indeed be intensified. When you only realise what you’ve got when it’s gone, the helplessness and confusion felt about the situation can add to the pain.

I don’t know what the answer happens to be, maybe one day someone can conduct a study to quantify the difference. I do however find it interesting that a cliché has come out of one side of the story, and not the other. Also, because I am experiencing one of these scenarios at the moment, it’s interesting for me to think about. Maybe some of the people who read this can share your experiences or feelings by sending me an e-mail, or writing in the shout-out box.

As I have done with many of my past articles, this article is aimed at mentally stimulating people into thinking about various issues/situations and their opinions on them. Hopefully it can help in some way, or extend the knowledge that currently exists about the different topics. Obviously nothing of what I say is gospel, and people are free to take on board any of my beliefs, but to make their own conclusions. Any discussion about any of my articles is greatly encouraged and welcome.

I hope you have found this interesting and I hope this article finds you well,

Learn… Love… Live,

JustNat xx