GenQ - For the not so straight individual

Generation Q writer Steve questions why HIV-positive people should not be required by law, in all states of Australia, to disclose their HIV status to casual sexual partners.

In my view, the main reason is discrimination. HIV-positive people often already feel like lepers. It's harder, if not impossible, for them to receive benefits like full superannuation (at least initially) and income protection insurance. They are prevented, not only from migrating to many countries, but even from visiting them (as is the case with the United States). They may experience discrimination in employment if their status is known or suspected, and the new industrial relations legislation is not going to help.

Another reason is rejection (really another form of discrimination). It is not uncommon for the effects of the illness and/or medication to manifest themselves in sunken cheeks, which can age HIV-infected people by decades. As a result, they may be reluctant to show themselves in public for fear of being labelled positive. They therefore retreat to their homes (often housing commission flats), where the only friends they have are those who are also ill. Their family may have rejected them long ago.

Outside Sydney and Melbourne, HIV is often treated with disgust, disbelief, misunderstanding, or at least discomfort, by much of the population, including gay men. Despite the amount of information that is available, many gay men know little about HIV, and hold strong negative prejudices about it. HIV-positive gay men, who already experience discrimination in the wider community, thus find they are discriminated against by their own community if their status is known or suspected.

Physical intimacy is a fundamental human need. Try to put yourself in the position of a HIV-positive man, who has taken every precaution against getting infected, but at some point has slipped up. This man may feel he will never be touched or held again if he reveals his status to a casual partner. And why should he reveal it? If he and the casual partner have safe sex (as everyone should), the risk of transmission is virtually non-existent. It's probably more dangerous to cross the road. Clearly, if an ongoing relationship is embarked upon, there is more at stake, and disclosure then becomes an issue.

It would help HIV-positive people if the queer community was motivated less by prejudice and fear, and more by love, compassion, and understanding. I know this may be difficult when it could be a life or death issue. But the point is that it should not be life or death. Unsafe sex should not be an option, except between members of a monogamous couple who have both tested negative, and who trust one another absolutely. In all other situations, every sexual partner needs to be treated as potentially positive, even if their last test was negative. This is because there is a window period for those who are recently infected, in which they can continue to test negative until seroconversion takes place. Furthermore, not every gay man is honest, so if he says that he is negative, a virgin, or whatever, it should be taken with a grain of salt!

I am glad the law is as it is in most states of Australia. It's not easy to live with HIV hanging over one's head every day, wondering when the medication will cease working, and full-blown AIDS is likely to set in. No positive man in his right mind would intentionally pass on the virus to someone who is negative (I don't consider ?gift givers? and ?bug catchers? to be in their right mind). However, given all that positive people have to deal with, revealing one's status to a casual partner and risking yet more rejection may be just too much to bear.