GenQ - For the not so straight individual

Love – is it just the cherry on top of the ice-cream of life? Or something which is secondary or completely separate to a successful career…can you just have one or the other, or can you have both?

Some aspire to have great careers; others aspire to have great love lives. Can work and love really coincide, and in doing so help us achieve that work-life balance which can play the biggest part in our happiness?

As children we have these notions of ‘when I grow up’, some dream of a white wedding, and some dream of their dream job. I wonder how much of this translates into our lives once we reach an appropriate age to be considering these sorts of things. How much importance is placed on either?

I am sure some of us may have dreamed of a white knight/knightess whisking us off into the sunset, while others dreamed about having an ace job…I believe that generation differentiates the importance placed on these things. This plays into the whole role of women vs. the role of men debate and how much it has changed over the years. Traditionally men were the ones who went out and earned the money for the family and the women stayed home and took care of the children.

Modern values dictate otherwise, less people are getting married, and even then the divorce statistics are one in three. There are significantly more strong, professional business women who have successful careers that are equal if not, in some cases, more so than their male counterparts. Some of these women have their focus sharply on their career and getting married and starting a family seems to be the furtherest thing from their mind.

Then there is the homosexual community, which presents a whole new aspect to this value. Same sex pairing, sure to have a family we have to adopt or get IVF or a surrogate mother. But beyond that, at the very core of this debate, work vs. love, how do we differ from our heterosexual counterparts? How focused are we (either hetero- or homo- sexual) on having successful careers, or would we just settle for a mediocre career and fabulous love life? Can we really have it all?

Does love simply happen by chance? In a world full of opportunities, be it in business or love, do things just fall into place at some point? Or do we keep firmly focused on one or the other and if the opposite takes off as well it’s a bonus?

I’ve never been one to have my sights firmly set on a career – I’d prefer to be in love. It seems to offer more by way of satisfaction and fulfillment. But don’t get me wrong, I’m sure many people have their cake and eat it too in that regard.

I just don’t want to be one of those people who focus on their career to the point where they lose sight of anything outside of it. Then become workaholics who lack the patience and time for meaningful relationships.

Work and relationships aren’t that different – both require effort, communication and commitment. You need to have strategies and back ups plans for when things go off the rails, and so that you can get back on them without any major dilemmas.

Most of all, you need to enjoy both on their individual merits, and though there are some who can do this, sometimes it is better not to mix work and pleasure lest you ruin one or the other – but to those who achieve this balance in working with your partner professionally, I applaud you!

In conclusion, I believe that you can have both a great love life and a great career. And what is important to you is what should be your focus – we all know we have to work to live, but at the end of the day, it is your partner you come home to. The one you’ve been thinking about all day, and who is so glad to see you when you get home.

The one you can share your day with, the one who will comfort you, and the one who will fall asleep holding you. They are the one’s the make it all worthwhile, because they are the cherry on top.