GenQ - For the not so straight individual

That above question is what I have been asking myself for a number of months. I'm not going to be all narcissistic here and say that I am completely and utterly fabulous, I am attractive and that everyone should want me. Far from it I assure you. One question I will confess that I do get asked a lot, is 'why are you single?' I even have a couple of my best friends saying 'we need to find you a man!' because according to them, being in a relationship is great. Can someone who is younger, and is a part of the populated urban lifestyle be single, and be perfectly content with it?

One thing that I personally have always found difficult about relationships, is the vulnerability that it puts you through, and ultimately, that you could quite possibly end up being hurt from it. I'm not going to be all 'woe is me' here, but to me, it almost doesn't seem worth it. Building hopes up gradually over something which you put a lot of time and effort into, only to see it all come crashing down in one big heap, is it truly worth doing that to yourself time and time again?

The inevitable first heartbreak. Everyone has to go through it at some stage. I learnt quite a lot from my first relationship that ended in heartbreak, and I consider myself a better person for it, and have well entruly moved on. But what they don't tell you in the manual, is that the initial heartbreak is only the first of many. It's like it's one of life's lessons that you have to keep learning over and over again, and I'm not sure it is a lesson that I personally want to learn anymore.

A lot of people tell me that I should live life on a day by day basis, because you only live once, and therefore you should live it for what it is. I'm going to be completely honest with you all here, people do consider me to be different. I am technically still in my teenage years (only for a few more months), but I don't do what is typically seen for a person my age to do; go out clubbing every Friday and Saturday night, and sleep around because it's fun. That's just not me. It never has been me, and it never will be me.

I consider myself to be practical in the respect that I have my immediate future planned out in my head. What I want to accomplish, where I want to be in regards to friendships, what I want to do with my life, for at least the next few months I have it all planned out. The difference is with me, as opposed to a lot of my friends, is that I have it planned out that I will be single. Is wanting to be single while you focus on building the foundations of your life a crime?

I have been single for the good part of a year now, and as everything does in life, it has its pros and cons. You don't have to consult someone else to do what you want to do, you are free to be the person that you want to be. But you also don't have the affections of someone else that cares for you, and that you can care for in return. I'm not specifically going to deliberately remain single for as long as I choose; if the right person comes along, then they do, and I'll deal with that when it happens. But in the meantime, I intend to live life for what it is, I intend to start to make a name for myself career wise, I intend to be true to the one person who is trying to break free; me. And if that is regarded as a crime, then so be it.