Walk through the airport doors (or look around your airplane) into the assault that is India and you’d be forgiven for thinking that women don’t exist, walk down the street, catch a bus, eat dinner, meander around and the situation is much the same. To every ten men you’d be lucky to spot more than one woman, and even then she’ll rarely be alone, occasionally with other women and nearly always attached to her husband’s hip (well two steps BEHIND him).
Get in a rickshaw (local taxi), or on a motorbike and women drivers are even more scare, perhaps one in fifty. Welcome to a real patriarchal arrangement where women exist to bear children, cook, clean and stay at home, the way god intended. Though check out the multitude of billboards and you’d think women all over India were free to get a University education, pursue a brilliant career, travel and shop to their rupee hearted content…if only advertising didn’t lie!
Don’t get me wrong, women lucky enough to be born into money do have all the above opportunities depending on the family religious/personal beliefs about women’s roles in society and women without such luck do work bloody hard! Try carrying a 10 k.g. fish balanced precariously on your head for 17 k.m a day in the scorching heat, or trying to provide for your 4 children, husband and extended family while living in a slum (if you’re lucky) and having no education, no access to skills training and being branded an untouchable by virtue of being borne into a caste system that states your family name is your cage.
And the clothes; long heavy sari’s that restrict your ability to walk more than two 2cm’s each step, always making sure that your legs don’t show- and if they do, you’ll be sure to be told! Add to that the fact that you’ll be married into a family as part of a bingo game where you’re merely a number, to a man you’ve never met, handed over for a sum of money like a piece of property and expected to play house and sex slave with a smile on your chained face for the rest of your days; forget divorce you’ll be shunned and hang out to dry like the relentless washing you do. Although admittedly some women do find love and are able to choose their husbands, though they are the minority and more often than not, the wealthy.
Female travelers don’t fare well either. My three (female) mates and I are walking tourist attractions for throngs of men who blatantly stare right at you for hours (yes..I’m not kidding; try waiting at a bus terminal) on end without a single blink. You really do get reminded that you’re a single, white, female in a country where men reign supreme and you’re an exotic delicacy (or sex object; depending on your perspective).
Just taking a walk becomes an unnerving experience, let alone actually catching a bus where hands find their way into your pack, men try to sit on top of you and if you’re an Indian woman you’re denied even a seat. Our train experience wasn’t much better; the women blocked the door so we couldn’t get in the carriage and we were relegated to the disabled carriage and stuck outside the toilet in a pool of other people’s piss…thank god we know how to laugh and always carry incense!
Where are the lesbians you ask? Who knows?! Men however, frequently roam the streets holding hands, hugging and being openly affectionate so they need not worry about the controversial PDA (Public Displays of Affection), though don’t assume they’re gay, it’s customary here.
I’m sure there is an underground lesbian scene, but lesbians aren’t even recognized in this land; legally they do not exist, homosexuality on the other hand is illegal under section 77 of the Indian penal code. If you’re caught in the throes of sodomy you’re liable for extensive jail time.
Recently a film called Girlfriend was launched that explored a lesbian relationship, predictably it was met with outrage and swiftly banned from theatres around the country with the statement that “lesbianism is against Indian culture”.
However, there is one great Indian film that I know of that has been met with critical acclaim and of course, controversy ; Fire by Geeta Mehta. Books on the other hand, are harder to come by, I have been scouring bookshops all over south India for Facing the Mirror: Lesbian Writing from India edited by Ashwini Sukthankar and have come up with absolutely nothing, but I haven’t lost hope…yet…
What else can I say but here’s to a future where the women of India (lesbian and straight) have autonomous lives of their own and us Western women can drink chai with the ladies on the side of road, rather than four generations of men and we can all move about uninhibited by the expectations of patriarchy’s penitentiary.
Tags:
equal rights,
India,
patriarchy
Comments
8 comment(s) on this page. Add your own comment below.
Just because you've been to India, does not make you an expert on Indian tradition and culture, as is grossly evident by your article. Sari's are not heavy, nor do they restrict movement. Also, only the older generation of women wear saris on a day to day basis. NO ONE I know that is under the age of 60 wears a sari unless they are at a formal event. WHERE in India did you go if all you saw were women in saris? Next, Girlfriend was a trashy flick, and even LGBT activists tried to prevent it from being shown due to the false sterotypes that were in the film.
It is not fair for you to critisize the culture just beacuse you think yours is better. Sure there are problems with Indian culture, but ours has thousands of it's own issues as well.
I could seriously go on and on about your misleading article, but I just don't have the time right now. Maybe I'll stop by again later.
Your attitude towards Indian customs and traditions are disturbingly colonial. However, perhaps what's even more unsettling is your inattention to detail.
Sari's are traditionally made of silk or cotton, they are the antithesis of corsets or burquas by that they give women free movement. If you cared to ask any women while you were in India I'm sure you would be enlightened about this earlier.
Second, the director of Fire is Deepa Metha. She is a world renowned artist, try to get her name correct. And it is article 377 of the Indian Penal Code, an artifact of British Colonialism that has still been left on the books.
I'm not sure where in India you visited, but I implore you to revisit and try to breakdown these archaic stereotypes you have constructed for yourself. As any anthropology class would teach you, placing Western models of patriarchy and lineage to a non-Western society is rather naive not to mention prejudiced. You should educate yourself on the matriarchal customs in India (and greater South Asia), you would be surprised with the respect given to the feminine power.
If you really want information on queer South Asian issue, books, and culture there are plenty of resources for you. Queeristan.blogspot.com would be a good place to start.
As an Indian woman, I can say that when I go to Europe, East Asia, and even parts of southern USA, I get stared at all the time for being a different skin color. Hopefully this was an education experience to you, Bridget, about what ethnic (or "exotic" as I have been called before) women have to deal with everyday. I agree that there isn't much of a lesbian scene in India, and traveling on trains isn't necessarily the safest for women. But Samsaricanu is right- you really do not understand the complexities of Indian culture. What a harsh and critical judgment you made about something that you only saw the superficial aspect of!
And this bothered me- it's section 377, not 77!
It's disappointing to read an article like this from someone I (falsely) assumed would be more enlightened. It appears you entered India with your own ideas and assumptions and failed to see beyond them once you reached there. Of course parts of India are very conservative, on the same hand, there are incredibly progressive areas of India that I feel as a tourist & traveler, you must have at least passed through (Mumbai, Delhi...you had to have flown into one of these big cities to get to these "backward" areas you talk about).
Aspects of Indian culture do make it limited for a large majority of women, but again, Indian culture has also allowed women large advances that they can't achieve in other societies (hello 2 elected female Prime Ministers, one who was not even of Indian descent). And addressing a more specific point: non-native/non-homogenous travelers ANYWHERE have issues with being stared at. You think people don't stare at the ONE black/asian/hispanic person in a rural town in Kentucky? And speaking of that...every society has its flaws, we shouldn't pretend like the West is so much more advanced - it allows us to ignore the problems we have here in the West instead of addressing them.
Like Nero, I can continue to ramble on this, but mostly I'd like to emphasize how disappointed I am that someone I would like to consider an ally is waiting for an opportunity to judge & self-aggrandize instead.
I am not in anyway personally attacking any Indian woman, I am merely forwarding my westerncentric, anglo saxon (and yes I am the product of patriachy) opinion .Of course I do not understand Indian culture. Self aggradising is hardly a word I would associate with myself...uncultured defintely, judging...no...these were my experience and mine alone and in no way do they represent any other woman or man's experience, I personally find sari's difficult to wear, walk in and move about in because I come from a Western culture were clothes are obvisouly different- I apologise if my article came across as aggressive and derogatry toward Indian culture, but it is important for you to understand that I do come from a different world and my article was very obviously and purposively an example of the divide between east and west- and therefore, my aim- which was to highlight the distinctions and gulfs of (mis)understandings was accomplished. Stay tuned for my article on western culture- you Eastern ladies will enjoying the way I hack apart my own culture and its archaic, imperialistic, gendered hetrocentric, selfish individualism masquarading as individuliasm!
Please know that my intention was not to cause offence, but rather to offer a place for opinion and incite response...thanks for engaging- much appreciated.
P.S. I am in the process of learning to understand the divide between eastern and western culture as my Ph.D is on the limits of the Western rational mind and how we transcend them limits using Easten practises such as Meditation, Chanting, Bhajans, etc...which is why I am in India in the first place...I am the first to admit that my ignorance about the world is beyond comprehension!
Cheers
Brigitte Lewis.
please excuse my horrific grammar- 2 months in India has done nothing for me in this respect! (honestly; I'm the anal kind of writer) proof reading would help also eh!...just touched down in Melbourne so give me a week and you'll have my critique of western modernity burning your eyeballs.
cheers
Brigitte.
please excuse my horrific grammar- 2 months in India has done nothing for me in this respect! (honestly; I'm the anal kind of writer) proof reading would help also eh!...just touched down in Melbourne so give me a week and you'll have my critique of western modernity burning your eyeballs.
cheers
Brigitte.
One more thing: please excuse my horrific use of grammar and spelling errors (oh the shame!)- being in India for 2 months does nothing for my coherence! but i'm back in Aus- and it's getting better all the time...getting better..getting better alllll the time (insert Better Homes and Gardens theme music and Noni; and all will be sweet mate!)
Cheers eh
Brigitte.
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