GenQ

Some gay men can be very camp...others can be very butch and masculine...and some of us can be in the middle. When I first arrived I remember that I felt uncomfortable and almost hostile to the gay community. I was not used to kissing my friends on the cheeks and I could feel myself becoming more camp by the second. I only had one girl friend who knew me BC (before coming out) and I would always ask her if I was becoming more "gay"….not that I was ever butch.

While my brothers got soccer balls for Christmas and GI Joe toys, I always asked Santa for a Crayola Paint Set and for a Fisher Price Kitchen Set and a Barbie. I did not get either but I always had a crush on GI Joe…men in Uniforms!

So after 8 years of camp Sydney, I always assume most people realise that I am gay. I never try to act butch or hide my sexuality but I also do not have a rainbow flag on my cubicle. So I have not officially come out to anyone at work but I think it is pretty obvious….so I was shocked this week to realise the new temp was totally cracking onto me…and she was not shy at all.

All this week she has asked me if I want coffee in the morning…which is rather nice…but on Friday she asked if I would giver her a neck message. She keeps asking me things about my life (background, interests, etc) and even bluntly said I smelled really good. She asked what I was wearing? I should have said…”not sure…its my boyfriend.”

For some reason, I am holding back. I’m not sure what I am afraid of…I’m not sure if I like this attention or like the fact that “I’m still butch…I still go it…” but I am having difficulties in telling this girl the truth. This is not the first time this has happened. As gay men, it is our duty to flirt with heterosexual girls. We can get away with things like… “Did you get a haircut, I love it.” “You look cute in that top” or “I love your shoes.” No straight guy would ever say that.

So I flirt with girls…not that way…more in the we can be say nice things without me wanting to get into your panties! But every once in a while, a girl will have no gaydar or not one that is working and she will develop a crush on me. Who can blame her. And then there is the awkward moment of telling someone…it’s not you…it’s your pussy..I like cock. But can we be friends…and usually we do become friends and then check out boys.

So come Wednesday before I head off…I’m gonna tell that girl…love your hair and by the way I’m a big old poof. Fancy a coffee?