My friend asked me if my boyfriend was the one. My friend Tom keeps looking for the one. Some people only date to find the one. Many of us do not believe in the one. Others spend their whole life looking for that one that will make them complete. My friend Sherry found the one and his name is Jesus!

It is a romantic notion. One person out there who will make you complete..who will make you whole and who will make you happy. My therapist would say this is total co-dependant behaviour and it will only lead to sadness and frustration.

How do you know if you have found the one? Or the one for now? There are 6.5 billion people on earth, surely there is more than one person out there who will make a great life companion, will laugh at your jokes and share your dreams. What if the one is in Mongolia? Or in Iceland? I once thought the one was in Norway.

Is life just one big race to find him? Or shall we stop looking and find the one in ourselves. I do not believe in soulmates. I do not need to be made into a whole. In a partner I seek love and compatibility. Relationships like everything in life have a life span…they end, begin again and the whole cycle repeats itself over and over again. Some are only temporary, some are for a few months or years and some are just for one night. But the long term relationship is with yourself, now that lasts a lifetime.