Being a couple has its benefits, it also has its downsides. It is simply harder to get out there and meet people if you are comfortable in the life that you live. It is hard to go out and go to a club, especially if you don’t drink and you are a couple. I wouldn’t swap my girlfriend for all the friends in the world, don’t get me wrong, she is my best friend and I love her. However, sometimes, I just want more friends, as I know she does too. Watching the L Word doesn’t help, it shows a world that could be so perfect. It would be ideal to have that many gay/lesbian friends, where we could have crisis meetings and people that are there in such a tight circle.

How is it that people just find friends? I simply don’t understand how it is so? My girlfriend just kindly and cutely suggested that I should look under rocks, maybe she has a point, people are there and I am not seeing the! I think I need to put myself out there a little more. But how do I do this? I think I need some advice. I think I need to work out how to get out of my shell, how to do small talk to people I don’t know. Not sure how to though, where to go. Small talk is something that I haven’t had any practice in for some time now, its just not something I partake in easily, it bores me to tell you the truth and I constantly wonder if it bores others as well.

There are some beautiful people in my life and I don’t mean to offend anyone, it is just something I am pondering. I haven’t really had time to reflect in the past year since I moved back to Australia, which has been such a huge year. I have met lots of new people and let lots of others go and now I am wondering where to do I go from here? Do I explore my ‘queer’ side and attempt to find friends that way? Do I just talk to more people when I get back university? I don’t know where to go!

This is more about battling my own demons than any problem with the world. There are multitudes of opportunities for me to go out. I could go to clubs, I could go and speak to people, even if I were awkward and felt out of place. This is about me, simply about my mind mess and where that leaves me. How do I expand the world that I live in so I don’t feel so alone?! The world has possibilities, I think I just need to realise how to get out there and put myself into the world so I can get out there and grab those possibilities.