GenQ

I ask you all an ever burning question in my mind. What is it about a straight man, that makes him think he has a chance at a threesome when a woman tells him she's a lesbian? I just cannot understand it for the life of me! I know it is a common occurrence, because not only my girlfriend and I, but other lesbian friends have had to endure the advances of straight men, not only before, but after they learn we are lesbian.

Straight guys (or any guys, really) help me out, is there some misconception out there about the connotations of the word LESBIAN?

Straight guys (or any guys, really) help me out, is there some misconception out there about the connotations of the word lesbian? Do you not understand that part of being a lesbian includes having no desire for sexual encounters with the male gender? Or is it that they understand perfectly, they just have such a high opinion of themselves that they think they have the ability to make us want a man? Either way, society is in trouble (well, we knew that already).

There are a lot of misconceptions about queer terms in society, however I thought the simple sum lesbian = no men was fairly universal. If it is the latter option that comes into play, then I feel sorry for all the women who will eventually be in a relationship with such vain men!

Or is there another reason for this phenomenon that I am overlooking here? Could it just be, that society's perception of lesbian women as women who do women but will also do men is due to a stereotype portrayed and sustained by the media? We increasingly see 'threesome' scenes in movies and popular television shows involving two girls and a guy. We are also subjected to storylines where the girl falls in love with another girl, explores her sexuality a bit, and then realises she wants guys again. Of course, sure this does happen in real life, but so does the opposite. Storylines and scenes like the ones mentioned above are almost always for pure ratings increase and not handled as they should be.

Furthermore, the use of the word 'lesbian' is incorrect, and flung around like it applies to any woman who kisses another. One prime example was in the O.C second season where Marissa decides to try Alex on for size. Sure, lots more people watched, but in the end, all it did was continue to portray lesbian relationships as fake and I might even say in this case, unhealthy! The only real shows who come near doing justice to lesbian women are ones with a constant lesbian character/storyline, or pure lesbian based shows (which we have a plethora of, I can count them on one finger). Even then, certain issues are treated with insensitivity.

Anyway, I digress. I mainly wanted to point out that although every person is different, we create labels so that some things stay as uniform as humanly possible. 'Lesbian' is commonly defined as a female homosexual. A 'homosexual' is defined as a person who has sexual feelings towards, or relations with persons of the SAME sex. Therefore, if these labels are used correctly, the next time a straight/bisexual male learns that a woman is a lesbian, they can kindly refrain from making comments pertaining to a sexual encounter! I suggest boys, that you stay on the look out for the women who use the word 'bisexual' or heterosexual to describe themselves. And even then, you better not be assuming anything.

I'd be really interested in hearing if anyone else has a theory about this, or if they agree with one already mentioned. If you have had similar experiences and share in my frustrations, comment below or let me know privately. Any comments are most welcome! Please email justnat@gmail.com or click on the author name at the top of this article.
Thanks for reading. Until next time,
Learn, Love, Live.