To Scene or not to Scene

I seem to have had this discussion with a lot of people lately. It all came about from a conversation I had with a young guy who was afraid to come out to himself, let alone anyone else because he didn't want to be gay. It's not that he was afraid of harassment or even that he was homophobic, he was afraid because he thought that once you admitted that you were gay, you automatically metamorphosed into a scene queen. Poof!