GenQ

So I started to talk to people about this and think about it too. My first discovery was that a lot of gay guys seem to be caught up in the whole homosexual "expectation fantasy". It's a little like the heterosexual one and goes something like this. Boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, boy marries girl, they buy a house, get a dog, have kids, get fat and suddenly realise that it's not what they wanted at all and so they get divorced all by the age of 25. The gay equivalent of that seems to be boy is not having a life unless he spends at least 90 minutes in the bathroom getting ready everytime he wants to set foot out of his front door. He uses enough hair product to hold up the Sydney Harbour Bridge and enough cologne and deodorant to be a fire hazard. Picking an outfit to wear is a major stress and "Oh my God! Is that body fat?!?!?!" Oh no it's just skin.....

Of course you are regularly seen every Friday and Saturday night at the same clubs and you give as much attitude as possible and complain to all of your friends how ugly/fat/badly dressed/smelly/tragic (take your pick) everyone else in the club is. You take an alphabet of pills, throw up and pass out in an alley out the back. Great night out! Great life! Oh and of course you have to go out in drag, wearing a dress bought from an Op Shop, cheap make up and your friends wig.

"Oh my God! Is that body fat?!?!?!" Oh no it's just skin

Well not everyone wants this kind of life. Sure some guys will go to the other extreme and put on as much weight as they can, be as hairy as possible, but that's just more of the same. Some even try to distance themselves from the girly types by putting on so much muscle they can't sit down and tanning themselves to the point that they glow under fluorescent lighting.

So what's a gay boy to do? So many stereotypes to choose from and none that let you be yourself.....what a reverse prejudice! Are we doomed to being scene queens, bears, muscle marys or sitting home alone watching Sex in the City videos?

There are always social groups people say to me......yes, they are good, but once again they are activity specific. it's a gay bowling club, or skating group or macramé class. Where is the outlet for guys who are attracted to other guys, who have a variety of interests and who don't feel the need to put on an attitude, a dress or enough cologne to put a small hole in the ozone layer directly above them.

Is there anything out there? Let's find out....

I am looking for people who can be who they are with each other, without fear of judgment. People who can be in each others company and who don't feel the need to fill the silence with small talk, can be comfortable just in each others presence. People who have a variety of interests who are not age-ist, racist, bear-ist, muscle-ist, queen-ist...just people.

I would like to hear from guys of any age who just want to get together and hang out without judgements. Our culture is taking itself way too seriously and putting way too much pressure on itself to conform.

This column by it's very nature is not a judgement passed on people who enjoy the scene, it is just an observation and commentary. there are a lot of gay guys out there who don't want the scene and feel lost and alone. No more!

Time for your second coming-out! You might feel trapped on the scene or you might be gay and scared of being gay because the scene is all you see.

If this is you, then email me. You can be any age, race stereotype, anything! Let's stop the bigotry within our own community, it is our greatest irony. Stop being invisible.

GenQ is about bringing people together. Let's start here and now.

seize the day!

Tags: coming out, scene queen, straight acting