GenQ

Which came first: the parent or the child?

As with the chicken/egg debate, the same principle can be applied to humans. Without children, there could be no parents. Yet without parents, children would fail to exist. Of course, simply being a parent doesn’t make someone any wiser or higher ranked than a child.

Parenting isn’t an exact science. Everyone has his or her own methods. Parenting is a combination of ancestral information and “trial and error” experience. There are no rules or regulations regarding basic upbringing, which has resulted in a diverse range of children around the globe. Some are well mannered and considerate. Others tyrannical and wild. No two are quite alike.

For some reason, whenever a woman announces her pregnancy, we rejoice and congratulate her. It is seen as a wonderful moment. A gift. Even a miracle. The moment of birth is met with cigars and celebration. But why do we “put the cart before the horse”, so to speak?

There is a long period from birth to adulthood wherein everything may change for the worse. Some children will grow up to abuse, steal, threaten, and even murder, though we praised their birth as much as those infants who become noble, courageous, profound, and brilliant. Birth is merely the beginning of the long journey into collective humanity. Pitfalls await everyone, though some will be better trained to handle them.

And if a child becomes the proverbial “bad seed”, what should we do then? Who is to blame? Society? The parents? Does it even matter in the latter stages? Can a childhood of individual lessons be reversed and changed?

Psychologists argue that our lives are set forth in our earliest years. Jerome Kagan, a developmental psychologist at Harvard University, suggests that within the first three years of life our temperament and behavior have become nearly permanent. Our experiences and understandings in these early years forge the path of who we ultimately become as adults.

We issue licenses to drive automobiles, fly airplanes, and become citizens of foreign countries. Our teachers and professors require years of education and experience to be deemed worthy of teaching young minds. Employers demand skills, education, and experience of their prospective employees. Becoming a parent has only one requirement: copulation.

In our society, we scrutinize adoptive parents and require them to jump through hoops to prove they can provide for a child. Gay and lesbian parents endure the worst of the wraith, often suffering through years of torment before adoption is even considered. We pass moral judgment on everyone expressing the desire to raise a child who is not their own.

But somewhere, two underage, foolish teenagers are on their way to creating a new life as we speak. Without background checks. Without proof of income.

Perhaps parenting should be more regulated to avoid problems. Perhaps we should worry less about the worthiness of guardians or foster parents and more about people becoming new parents every moment of every day.

Tags: parenting